HOW TO BE PERSUASIVE…. A BEGINNER’S GUIDE AS EXPLAINED BY A CON MAN
Fat, lazy, vulgar, foolish, half-assed, heartless, and so many more that I really don’t care to remember are just a few of the things that I have been called throughout my life (family… gotta love ’em).
I guess the one that probably hurt the most was being called a fraud. Granted, not much offense should’ve been taken as it was the government calling me this word, eventually even charging me with that (awe shucks). Be that as it may, it put me in a very distinct class of shadowy figures that have all come before me, leveraging the power of a very critical life skill towards success, notwithstanding a few legal challenges.
You see, there seems to be a prevalent theme among those that have been accused of such a crime, that we tend to be very deceitful. And while I’m not going to open that one up for debate, I will say (and for purposes of this article), we also tend to be extremely good at convincing others to see our vantage point of view.
*Unfortunately for us, we still came up rather short in convincing a jury to understand this philosophy. Tisk tisk.
Still though, one thing universally recognized by and large within this exclusive community is the confidence we have in ourselves. And not to glorify bad things, but the term con man is derived from just that. You are a confidence man.
You believe in your ideas with conviction (bad word), and ultimately would like others to join in and adopt that ideology. It is undeniable that we’re going to want things in life. We want the job. We want money. We want respect. We want attention. Most of all, we just want the opportunity.
Naturally, you should want to use every possible resource that makes itself available to you in order to attain that opportunity. If you’re like me though (unfortunately), you may fall into a certain category (felony) that will try and limit all of those opportunities.
And while I’m not condoning you to go commit sordid acts to separate financial institutions from their money, I am appeasing to your better senses to awaken your god given talent hibernating inside you, thus unleashing it on the world in order for you to increase your chances for success tenfold.
This is all done by using something that I, and many others have come to use called The Power of Persuasion.
In doing so, users applying this power are able to help someone formulate opinions on an idea, product, or service, in order to yield a most favorable outcome. It is applied in many different fields (sales, politics, business) for many different purposes, all to overcome many different objections.
These techniques and strategies also give one the ability to convince others to do, act, or even believe things they normally would not entertain. And therein lies the danger with this power, as many associate it as something bad used for evil purposes.
Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities….
– Voltaire
However, one must differentiate between being persuasive (which I’m advocating), and being manipulative (which I’m not), with the difference lying in it’s intended benefit. There’s a thin line between the two, and when that line gets blurred is when there are dire consequences.
Yes, maybe I am the pot calling the kettle black, but after some clarification from all too eager authorities assisting me in where to draw the line and make that distinction, I believe I’m highly qualified in what I’m talking about.
Persuasion is about injecting your ideas and thoughts into something or someone, without being overly aggressive or pushy, thus turning someone off.
Manipulation is about control. It’s a hybrid version of persuasion, but with malicious intentions based on deception and not being forthright, ultimately leaving the recipient in danger or peril. Most people unfortunately feel that they are one and the same, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Everybody has the power in them to be persuasive. For that matter everybody has the power in them to be a fraud. Like anything in life, it’s tied into the person’s intention.
Many believe that in order to be persuasive, you must’ve been born with it. And this is true. With that lies the beauty to it all, as you were born with it. Anyone can do this.
Since you were a baby you’ve had it. The most brilliant persuaders of all time have been children. Easily able to dictate the narrative in order to get whatever it is they desired. Think about it. Only problem is due to lack of sheer imagination and brain power, desires are set rather low:
- Milk
- Hug
- Toy
- Attention
- Change my shit diaper
The fact is, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE who exists on this here earth, has the qualities and attributes in them to be persuasive. It is sort of a necessary life skill, but like anything you need to practice it in order for you to get better at it. They should’ve taught this in school (outside of psychology), but they don’t.
As a result, many people are left unprepared in this world, thus rendering them a follower where they adopt the beliefs and opinions of whomever at any moment in time. Noted persons of history who have used The Power of Persuasion:
- MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.
- BERNIE MADOFF
- ARISTOTLE
- DON KING
- ANTHONY ROBBINS
- ADOLF HITLER
- STEVE JOBS
- JOHN F. KENNEDY
As you can see from this distinguished list, persuasion can be used by anybody for good or sinister purposes. And although these figures may have used their power for different intentions, they all seem to share certain common traits amongst them.
Master Communicators
They use everything at their disposal in order to communicate their intended message with the audience. They also understand that it is not so much what you say, but how you say it.
They’re deeply aware of their body language (gestures, facial expressions, and mannerisms). The tone and pace of their voice, and even the ability to curse (yes, it’s a form of art they understand) when appropriate, that all affect how they’re perceived in getting their point across.
Bonus tip: Smile.
I always, always say this. Always. But why though? Because the last thing you want to come off looking like is a mean, angry felon (if and where applicable). Nevertheless, you want to look approachable and friendly, not like you’re going to shank them in the lunch line.
Likeability
You may not agree with this person’s world view or philosophy, yet ironically find yourself cheering for them, and secretly liking them. They all have a polarizing quality about them, and despite ulterior motives, you may even come to “love to hate” the person. Either way, mission accomplished.
Charm
They have the ability to make you feel as if you’re the only one in this world and everything you say matters. It’s done by… (are you ready for this) listening. The passion displayed towards their cause easily gains your attention, respect, and even attraction. These people have a high command for what they believe in that it easily endears your loyalty and devotion with the admiration you have for them.
Bonus tip: Use their name.
When addressing someone, you must make them feel special, and that’s through being personalized. It get’s the message across and shows that your’e paying attention. After all, it’s the little things that make a lasting impression.
A Look
Call it style, or a certain way they carry themselves, but the consensus is they all have a presence. As displayed by persons on the above referenced list, you don’t need to be muscular, nor be over six feet tall, but they all have a way about displaying strength and commanding the room.
Confidence
What we discussed at the very beginning of this post. You must develop this. Must. Because you can’t have everything else without having belief in yourself. Doesn’t matter what your intention is. It’s about having an comfortable attitude about your skills and abilities.
It means that you accept and trust yourself, thus have a sense of control in your life. You also know your strengths…. and your weaknesses (which when recognized is also a strength). And for people to firmly trust and believe you in a secure way (have confidence in you), you must have that in yourself first.
There are certain substeps you must be aware of in order to harness The Power of Persuasion. Although your reading this post (and I applaud your taste in reading this site) is a step in the right direction, this is merely an introduction to this vital skill. You must still continue to educate yourself further in order to be polished at it.
Great resources to check out so you expand your education on The Power of Persuasion would be…
- How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
- The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene
- How to Win an Argument: An Ancient Guide to the Art of Persuasion by Cicero
- Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini
- Trust Me, I’m Lying by Ryan Holiday
Certain words and phrases often times using The Power of Persuasion would be…
for instance, for example, in other words, furthermore, on the other hand, with this in mind, obviously, I’m sure you can see that, regardless, nevertheless, I ask you to think about, in conclusion….
In conclusion, I ask you to think about why should you practice getting good at The Power of Persuasion?
Simple. To get whatever it is that you desire. Did you see what I just did? It’s all about using suggestion to influence the results. Doesn’t matter what area of your life you want to apply it to; sales, relationships, job opportunities, elections, whatever. But in order to tap into and access this extraordinary ability, you must practice it daily to get good at it.
Hopefully this little beginner’s guide gave you pause to understand the true effect it has on not only your life, but on others as well. Use it wisely. Educate yourself on your situation, because nobody is going to do it for you. Stay well and out of trouble.
–The Educated Felon
This is certainly helpful. Thanks to you sir.
Good read.