Throughout my illustrious life, I’ve always been someone who’s adhered to a few notions regarding my interactions with humans. Most notably, that I really do not have much trust for another person unless they curse. Truth be told, I respect them a bit more when they do. I don’t exactly know when I adopted this interesting philosophy, I just know it seems to have always been there, lurking in the background, following me since I can remember.

To me there’s just something inherently broken, that even pains me when one neglects using our language in its purest, most raw form. I mean that’s what separates us from the animals. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be a potty mouth or glorify swearing for me to carry on a conversation with you. It’s just that I want more from the interaction.

Get over yourself and be real, be flawed. Be a human. Let your guard down and stop worrying about judgement. The thought of conversations and the work associated with trying to impress someone by having to say the correct things to not come off as offensive just seems disingenuous. Along with being boring and predictable. People tend to over complicate things by beating around the bush, not being more direct. They’re always searching for the right thing to say. Ironically, it still ends up being wrong. 

It’s all very organic and authentic when you can throw the filter away, and be a little more forthright with your feelings through word choice. I mean, don’t you care to take full advantage of everything available in your vocabulary arsenal? Do you even give a shit?

Some would say it’s inappropriate and vulgar to use foul language. To you sir or madam, I kindly say go screw yourself. I mean surely, I’m an unintelligent, classless, felonious piece of shit for swearing, right? In newly published studies that were conducted, swearing is actually considered to be a sign of intelligence.

Vindication finally, as the consistent findings show there is a direct correlation between profanity and honesty. Not only that, but the study also found that the cursing subjects were considered to be more trustworthy, sincere, and superior communicators through artistic expression. The freedom to not hold back. It goes further, suggesting that cursors are emotionally stronger and have more tolerance to pain.

What does these findings mean?

Well, it shows that much like evolution, our communications have progressed over time as well. Social media, thus has affected the way we interact with each other in different manners. It’s bad in a sense that we are spoiled. We want it all right now. Super fast. We want to know what’s going on with everyone, everywhere, at every possible moment, and not be left out. If we are, there’s going to be hell to pay.

It’s also good from the aspect that we’re enjoying the freedom of expressing ourselves. People are less inhibited to say what they want and mean. The net mass result equates to things being more tolerated and accepted by society. People start to go with the flow, going along, so they can get along. Something once considered taboo, becomes the new normal.

Look at tattoos. Once frowned upon, you were shunned and treated like an outcast; a pariah. In having one (or several), you were considered an outlaw and renegade, bucking the system. For many, that was part of the allure and appeal. You were giving a finger to societal norms, living your life freely by way of expressing yourself and not giving a shit of what someone thinks of you. All quite liberating.

Bear in mind, this all came at the steep price of being considered a criminal, ostracized, and judged by others. Fast forward to now, and everybody has body art including your teachers, doctors, and grandparents. With more awareness and attention, things progress to where it’s less taboo and more culturally accepted. So much so, that if one wants to be different nowadays, you will actually consider not having tattoos.

The attraction is in what it represents, as it gives meaning to something. Something unique. That being you and your style. The same could be said about how you use your vocabulary. You want that to give meaning to something. Something unique. Once again, that being you and your style.

With all that said, how does one go about using vocabulary that may be deemed inappropriate, vulgar, or offensive, in a manner congruent with something beautiful, ever so elegantly, in order to illustrate our point and give added meaning? BY CONTEXT. HERE’S WHAT I MEAN BY THAT.

How can we honestly be superior communicators, using colorful words ever so elegantly, all while breaking the stereotype of only uneducated, classless, vulgar individuals (felons) using foul language?

HOW TO USE (FOUL) LANGUAGE EFFECTIVELY

In order to be an effective cursor, you must follow two very simple rules.

1. ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL

You should always be in control of yourself. You are responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. If you’re not, you’re at the mercy of circumstances. You can’t control external things like traffic, weather, assholes, et cetera. You shouldn’t want to anyways, leave that for GOD.

Interestingly enough, it’s the external things that people can’t control, that have them cursing and screaming.

Be in control of the one thing you can control in this world. You. More importantly for this article, what comes out of your mouth. You do not have to scream or yell when cursing. Once you have, you’ve lost control. And if you lose control, you lose.

Keep your temperament in check, in order to use your colorful language to your advantage. For that to happen, you need to attract and engage someone’s attention – not frighten or turn them off with loud noise. You swear for a purpose. There is etiquette to it all. Have respect for your curse words so you can attain that respect. The moment you have to raise your voice and shout, you lose.

Remember: Do not lose your shit…. So you will not lose control…. So you do not lose your audience.

2. TIME AND PLACE

Not to confuse you, but there are certain times and places where full use of your vocabulary is most not welcome, so learn the subtle art to shut the eff up. Yeah, I know that contradicts the whole liberating I don’t give a shit outlaw image, however there is something called discretion. You want your curse words to have style, grace, and polish. It should flow and tie in to your point. To curse just to curse has no merit.

You want it to be special and have meaning. So use choice words sparingly, as you don’t want it to lose bite or potency. You dilute and water down the impact and subsequent response you generate when every other word out of your fucking mouth is f***.

Moving on, there are certain time and places where it is more socially acceptable – almost encouraged, where one could practice their swearing free of judgment, such as bars, clubs, casinos, concerts, sporting events, playing video games, stubbing your toe, et cetera. Then there are places where one should proceed with caution before detonating F bombs and disturbing the peace, such as school related, church related, job related, et cetera.

And then you really never, ever want to practice in courtrooms, depositions, probation meetings, and most (if not all) legally related matters and functions.

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In closing, I didn’t just happen to start cursing one day and become this sick maniac. It was more of a gradual thing built over time. Coupled with the fact that there was a turning point, early in my business career where I got fed up with protocol. Having to follow the right way on how you sell, talk, and relate to people.

To regurgitate and spew out the same nonsense made me nauseous. I was extremely uncomfortable doing that, as it was all very condescending. Mind you, I felt that was insulting and offensive to others, not my so-called inappropriate language.

Soon, I would be practicing my delivery of choice words, so rather than come off crude or gruff, it would have polish and style to it. I wanted my interactions to be genuine. I wanted to be sincere, yet brutally honest, even if it meant the possibility of turning someone off, or offending them.

I don’t apologize for using the human language to reflect my intense feelings for something. Never will. I guess you could say I truly don’t give a shit Maybe you don’t either. Stay well and out of trouble.

–The Educated Felon