HOW TO PASS A PROBATION DRUG TEST FOR WEED
Okay, now that I got your attention, let us discuss the benefits of a good detox drink. (Great segway into something totally different, huh?) Don’t worry, give me a minute and I’ll tell you what you came for. First things first, in my illustrious career working in the vitamin & supplement industry, there’s been two types of patrons interested in a cleansing product.
1. Those looking for a jump start to better health, via a reset for rejuvenating mind and body.
2. Those looking to beat a test.
Be that as it may, I never judged, as there’s nothing wrong with the latter (no.2), as you still get all the benefits no.1 would get.
WHAT DOES A GOOD DETOX DO
A detox is a cleanse for all practical purposes, ridding the body of all impurities, toxins, and pollutants. This is due in part, to our unhealthy, stressful lifestyles. What we eat, drink, smoke, snort, shoot, and ingest all contribute. As well as the environments (where) we do it in. Positive feedback attributed to a cleanse includes:
- More energy
- Weight loss
- Reduced inflammation
- Healthier hair, skin, and nails
- Better digestion and bowel movements
- Sinus clearing / Less headaches
- Better mental clarity / Less brain fog
AND OF IMPORTANCE TO THIS ARTICLE
- Getting a job
- Getting back / Keeping your kid(s)
- Maintaining freedom
- Not going to prison and getting raped
With the rise in popularity as a powerful weight loss aid (thanks in part to social media trending and talk shows), one now has unlimited options from which to choose from. Enough so, that choosing the right one has been made into a daunting task, and a bit of a confusing one. Obviously, you want to choose the one that fits your needs best. FOR YOUR DESIRED OUTCOME.
Just remember, what is it you are trying to accomplish from this cleanse? And although I’m a big advocate of fasting, and a good detox for overall well-being, I’ve never been a fan of cleansing for more than a day. I know people who have done seven and fourteen days, even one-month cleanses! Screw that.
More power to you, but that just seems like agony to me. Call me impatient. Call me childish, but I want it done fast and now. And for those of you where applicable, you may not be afforded the luxury of taking your time. Perhaps you may need to rid your body of impurities right now.
That said, I’ve always had good experiences and feedback with this guy. And even better yet, my customers all had good experiences and feedback. Some would even say that it was enjoyable, due to the desired outcome that was achieved (freedom).
Bear in mind, the cleansing process is not a particularly enjoyable experience, as it’s not for the weak of heart. It is truly one for the pure savage. Once again, you’re ridding the body of all the shit and abuse you’ve put it through, however, you’re doing this all for a purpose. A desired outcome.
Now although it may not taste like an ice cold mountain dew on a hot summer day, IT WORKS FAST (within hours), IS EFFECTIVE (total body cleanse), AND THEY EVEN OFFER A MONEY BACK GUARANTEE. Follow the directions and use as directed.
Which brings me to the focus of our article. One of the advantageous things that a detox drink offers, oh by the way, is the ability to help expedite the removal of THC metabolites from the system. You might ask, why the focus on weed, rather than other substances?
Well, multiple reasons; most drugs will be flushed out of the system within days, however, (unfortunately, for the burners) marijuana will stay in our system the longest. Up to weeks versus most other substances. Mind you, this is all user dependent, with such factors as:
- Frequency usage (how often you smoke)
- Potency (how strong of bud)
- Weight & Size (you, not the bud)
- Water Intake
Despite the legalization of it in states throughout the country (USA), marijuana is still the number one substance tested for, and an unfortunate reality for many people looking for employment. And freedom.
Urinalysis is the most prominent testing method, (more so due to its cost effectiveness) where the subject is tested for traces of metabolites (byproduct of the drug left afterwards in your body). Just how long those metabolites like to linger in you and hang around is dependent on the factors discussed earlier. But figure anywhere from one day (easy), all the way to one month (the more stubborn body).
By now, you’ve probably heard of the vast array of tips, tricks, and methods out there people employ in order to beat a drug test. Things such as prosthetic genitals, carrying decoy urine on you, all the way to only availing the middle stream portion of your urine to the tester.
That is fine and good for all practical purposes. But with all due respect, we are not here to teach trickery or chicanery. We are here to feel good, perform good, and get the best possible results from our bodies through means of detoxification.
That said, although I am a firm believer that what people do in the privacy of their home is of their business, the stigma and repercussions is still very much out there. Nothing is foolproof. The only way to not be concerned of failing any test, is to abstain. Boring huh?
In lieu of that, you could always go about it slowly (very tedious) by letting nature take its course. Gradually increasing water intake (you should be drinking close to a gallon a day already) and not partaking in any illicit activities. Get some fresh air, exercise, and work on your nutrition. Manage your stress levels, and you should be in the clear in a few weeks.
Still not convinced, huh?
What if time was not on your side?
So you refuse to leave nothing to chance, all the while being hellbent on living and enjoying your life freely. Your carefree attitude laughs at any test thrown your way. Well, I applaud and admire your determination on how to live. That said, do this…
- Get your hands on a Heaven Sent Omni Purified Extra Strength. Get it here.
- Drink the entire contents of bottle in one sitting. You’ll want to do it preferably on an empty stomach, and as close to your testing time as it permits (the day of). Refrain from ingesting other stimulants such as coffee, cigarettes, other drugs, for the duration prior to testing.
- Continue to drink water, in order to flush out your system and expel the THC metabolites. Once again, you should already be drinking close to a gallon of water on a day-to-day basis. Mind you, don’t go overboard on drinking too much water (more than what’s recommended), as you’ll get what they call “waterlogged”. Gradually work your way to drinking more water, don’t just do it overnight.
- Urinate at least 3 times prior to testing, in order to flush out toxins and expel metabolites.
- Go take test.
- Pass test.
- Go home, celebrate, and do more drugs.
Wanna know if it works
Spend a couple bucks (literally) and get yourself a THC panel test. Test yourself after consuming product so you have peace of mind.
Does it really work
Yes it does. Nothing is 100% in life, however, this is pretty damn close. There is even a money back guarantee. Although you probably will not be needing, nor using it.
Will I be clean forever after using this
Well, that is dependent on you, however, through the detoxification process, you have a window of time (4-6 hours), where if one is tested, they will not detect THC due to the dulation of the metabolites.
So how does it taste
Like dookie. No really, it is a thick, nasty, syrupy texture and taste that would make you think you’re drinking whale guts on a game show. It is awful. But remember, you are not there to sit there and sip on it like a margarita. You are there for results. Clean results that is. Which it absolutely delivers.
What is this going to cost
Prices will vary between online and retail, but the cheapest I could find it is here. Not too bad for peace of mind, right?
One note: If you happen to go into a retail establishment, do not be the dumbass who walks in asking where’s the cleansers so I can beat a drug test? Or that you’re “looking for your friend”. You’ll get your ass kicked out of there fast. Not to mention the awkwardness to it all. Yep, online may be the best and most discreet option.
Let me wrap this up by saying, I’ve sold a ton of cleansers over the years – some good, some crappy, some just eh. Do they work? Well, that depends on which one you get, and for what purpose.
I’ve personally used them to jumpstart my weight loss journey. I’ve also used them to clean myself out, and reset a terrible lifestyle that had taken a toll on me.
Stress, frustrations, greasy fast food, gallons of coffee, kratom tea, supplements, and everything else, will contribute to the abuse of mind and body. Add to the mix the overindulgence of drugs and alcohol, and the subsequent usefulness of cleansing for lifestyle choices.
No matter what anyone says, nothing is 100% – although this kind of is. However, I, as well as countless others see the value in a drink that will help minimize those risks and lapses in judgement. Hey, we’re human. Be smart and leave nothing to chance in respect to our health, work, and freedom. Educate yourself on your situation, because nobody will do it for you. Stay well and out of trouble.
-The Educated Felon