MY THREE SIMPLE RULES FOR BEING A CONVICTED FELON – PART I

The following is just a bit of sage advice from the trials (no pun intended) and tribulations of a long-time convicted felon who has still managed to make a pretty decent life for his family and himself from what would otherwise be classified as a seriously depressing existence.

Yup. And this is not some positive feel-good post about appreciating what you got and developing a good attitude towards taking bullshit either (although that does help quite a bit). Nope, just the opposite – A realistic approach to get better results starting RIGHT NOW from a disappointing setback that one has incurred (can you say felony).

Take heed, these “Simple Rules” intertwine and play off of each other in a synergetic way, so as to making it uncomplicated for one to practice daily and put into action immediately for their decision-making and subsequent life altering impact. Most importantly, the beauty is in its simplicity. Meaning it’s really easy to do. Just think, three simple things you do as a felon to change your life now.

Three – Simple – Things.

All of it to get real results and start giving your life some direction after (with all due respect) the dumpster fire of chaos and uncertainty we have managed to create for it. Just saying.

Although it may seem redundant, but it does goes without saying that one may also apply these rules to a “normal” life (one lived without a felony/lucky bastards) just as well, however, I have found these rules to work especially well for the criminally challenged – I.E> anyone who’s run afoul of the law.

1) YOU MUST ADAPT

What does the lowly felon and a movie where a zombie apocalypse is taking place all have in common? Well, in both cases all parties simply need to get their shit together rather quickly in order to survive the ordeal at hand.

Doesn’t even matter to go back and figure out the reasonings as to WHY this is all happening at the given moment. All that really matters is to get over it cupcake. That, act fast, and make some decisions.

Look, so many people get hung up on the notion that life is rarely at a loss to hand you a heaping helping tablespoon of crap all but too often. The infinite number of problems that accumulate and gets compounded from such and such that happens to you every day seems to always be the case. And being a felon is no exception.

It’s true. The drama is never ending. And you may think it’s all really unfair. And that life sucks. And is one big steaming pile of dog poop that you step into each and every day. And it truly is. Once again, this may all be very true. But you know what? Doesn’t really matter in the scheme of things.

You and I need to get over our petty bullshit issues we carry (and we all carry lots of them), all in the name of making progress. And THAT is the big breakthrough.

You and I should not focus on the problems, but on solutions. Problems will always exist.

You cannot help it. They don’t need any more help or concentration from us. Much like gravity, it is there taking place, and will always happen regardless. Solutions though, require a little more effort, and the bulk of your brain power should be aimed vigorously in that direction.

The faster you can apply this principle and put it to work, the faster things start working for you. Does not matter that you are a convicted felon, as this rule does not discriminate in its ability to be extremely useful.

Once again for the record: You adapt. You have to. You must. Or you die…. and probably become a zombie too.

2) CIRCUMSTANCES MATTER

There’s always been a divide between the have’s and the have nots. Despite that difference, we all have a story. And we all have our struggles and hardships attached to that story. While it’s true that some are dealt a crappier hand than others, the trick is to make a shitty hand work for you, or at least in the short term till you can improve it to something significantly better.

The vast majority of people will tell you that “circumstances don’t matter”. That you’ll end up where you’re supposed to cause the universe will recognize this. Um, yeah, eventually. Or maybe not. But you could end up they’re a hell of a lot quicker, with considerably less frustration and aggravation, if your particular situation allowed you a better opportunity.

Which is why one should always be on the lookout to maximize anything they can. Whether it be a financial position you are born into, looks you’ve inherited, an ability you’ve acquired that many others do not possess, or even a bigger schlong. Whatever it is, put it to use.

Look, there’s certain things that’ll be inherently out of our control, but if there’s anything that you notice and recognize that allows you to gain some semblance of an advantage or edge over anything or anybody (ahem, legal that is), then my advice is take it. Maximize it. And use it to shorten the path of least resistance in order to find success in whatever endeavor it is one may be seeking.

You want to put yourself in as good a position as possible ALWAYS and FOREVER. It’d be great if things lined up nicely and you were born into it, but generally this is not the case. For the many (especially convicted felons), you’ll have to go out there and create it.

SO CIRCUMSTANCES REALLY DO MATTER. They allow for less stress. Less fuss. Less muss. And more importantly, allows one to reach their destination considerably faster and easier.

Imagine: You get to an amusement park but have to stand in line for an hour, all to experience a ride that lasts five minutes. Sucks doesn’t it. But you say it’s worth it. You’ll enjoy the experience. And you do.

Imagine another situation where that same thing happens, but this time you have a buddy who works for the park and allows you to skip the whole waiting process. Does that affect the overall experience so as to you eliminating the overall annoyance and aggravation factor? Probably Yes.

Does it make you appreciate the ride less, due to not sitting there sweating in line, rubbing elbows with people complaining, coughing and spreading their germs so you catch coronavirus? I dunno. You figure that one out.

CIRCUMSTANCES MATTER.

It affects things. Like the takeaway of the overall experience something has on you, and your overall attitude towards achieving it.

3) YOU HAVE TO DO MORE WITH LESS

Let me break the bad news to you in case you do not understand, and I will paraphrase it into something easy for you to process:

You are a convicted felon.

So yeah, we’re always working at a supreme disadvantage. And that my friend, is fact, not some rando opinion. Really though, what else is there to say for a felon other than YOU HAVE TO DO MORE WITH LESS. And this is the cardinal rule and sin. The most important one at that, kind of similar to “not feeding gizmo after midnight, otherwise he’ll turn into a gremlin and shit goes off from there” importance.

Getting back to the previous Rules statement circumstances matter, you cannot compare yourself to anybody. Nor should you. By doing that, you do yourself a huge disservice by stacking your life up to someone else’s, thus creating irreparable harm. At least mentally that is. So please don’t fall into that trap.

That’s what got me into this mess in the first place. I didn’t need to do anything illegal. I was actually doing extremely well. Then I started to compare myself to others, seeing what they had, and felt I was missing out.

I got envious (a fruitless insecure dick measuring contest) of all the toys and things others had, which drove me to great lengths to get what I wanted (determination, eh). Was it a bit ego driven – absolutely. Did I feel inadequate – yes, I guess you could say that.

Getting back to the point, do not fall into that trap of comparing your life and situation to others. There’s no benefit. Doesn’t matter that you are a felon. You shouldn’t compare yourself to someone without a felony (or even someone with one for that matter).

You’re a felon so you’re going to have to overcompensate for the shortcomings you possess. And you’re going to have to work harder to achieve something. A lot harder.

You have to be more capable. You have to overcome more. You have to be more resourceful, even though you may lack the resources.And you must endure. God you must endure. At least more than the others…. But realize once you can accomplish that, you can accomplish anything (even if you are a convicted felon).

Yes, It may take you a little bit longer, but you can overcome your circumstances. You really can. You just need to adapt. That, and do more with less.

There you have it. Simple. So don’t go out there making life more complicated than what it really is (even if you are a felon). And if you need a little more clarity on how to apply these Rules/Principles, then you may want to read the next post entitled…

My Three Simple Rules For Being A Felon PART II – The Examples

Educate yourself on your situation, because nobody will do it for you. Stay well and out of trouble.

– The Educated Felon