WHAT THE F*** IS YOUR PROBLEM

Growing up, my parents would always ask me that. Now in defense of them, they wouldn’t say f*** when asking the question. That was my own little addition to the title for artistic purposes. Nonetheless, they still asked me what my problem was everyday while growing up.

It was tiring and bothersome to be asked that all the time, but it wasn’t their fault though. I just always had a bad frown on my face and was constantly unhappy. That was all the time. You see, I realized I had always put off my happiness until. Until I got a new toy. Until I got another cookie. Until I could stay home from school.

I guess you could say I knew I was a little shit and future asshole from an early age. I had always delayed being happy in life until I got something I highly valued. Problem was, what I highly valued was stupid shit. Fast forward into adult life and I adopted this same philosophy. That my friends, is what got me in deep shit.

I would be happy once I got that new watch. Happy once I upgraded to the new car. Happy when I had a bankroll in my pocket. Bullshit bullshit. In the meantime, while pursuing it, I was miserable though.

That burning desire is what motivated and propelled me to go after and get it fast (good) however, I wasted so much time and energy focusing on the wrong things for so long (bad) that I was exhausted. Much like blowing your load, happiness would last a very short duration of time. Once I got it, I was on to the next bigger and better thing to bring on my new happiness. So I chased it relentlessly.

Obviously, it eluded me, as what I was chasing wasn’t really there. It didn’t exist. I had a large appetite, and was seldom satisfied. Always wanting more. I never enjoyed the ride of getting there. The process. Unfortunately, I was always pursuing short term happiness rather than the big picture (quality of life) and its long term benefits. Which is why since I was a child, I was never happy.

I finally realized attaining the goal was not the challenge for myself. The challenge was finding worthy goals to attain. That being said, you and I need to ask ourselves, is it really worth it?

Think about what you really want. Most people want things and have no clue why they really want it. I used to be one of them. How will attaining this impact your life for the positive? One of the reasonings I like to use and justify my want nowadays is the so called ripple effect it has on my life.

The Ripple Effect

Think of the goal (thing you want) as the stone that drops in the water. That stone creates mini shock waves and vibrations close, far, and away. This choice affects and impacts all other aspects of your life, whether it be positive or negative. Short and long term.

For example: If I pursue and attain a particular job opportunity, it can affect and lead to a better quality of life by way of the opinion I have of myself (positively), opening up doors for other work (long term), meeting new people, earning more income to take care of family, more freedom, etc.

It can also lead to myself purchasing a BMW, looking cool (short term), the illusion of money, attracting girls, and being left broke and miserable due to not being able to afford my new lifestyle.

Although this new career opportunity may lead to some promising things, it also led to less money in my account now due to large car payments, more stress and drama having to keep up with appearances, as people are expecting more from me since I’m doing so well, ultimately leading to dislike from others.

The ripple effect.

One note, as you can see on the ripple effect. It has no preference as to it leading to positive or negative in your life. There are no boundaries or prejudices. Short term or long term. Making sound decisions is of utmost importance, as it affects everything. Don’t be stupid.

That said, once you have the goals in mind you are to attain, you must focus and dial in your mindset. I will now throw out a few pointers on what I’ve used over time, in my pursuits of the good, bad, and shitty. Call it a pattern of clues or formula, but its something I’ve used time and again when I was riding high, as well as when I had to start all over from scratch in life. Either way, these steps help.

The 5 step solution to your problems

1. STRIP THE PROBLEM OF POWER AND ITS HOLD OVER YOU, BY CHANGING THE WAY YOU VIEW IT.

Everything’s a problem, till nothing’s a problem.

The Educated Felon

Start by replacing the word problems in your vocabulary with challenges and opportunity. Tap into the big why. Why do you want this? What will this do for your life? What’s the downside? (ripple effect) Are the benefits worth taking on this challenge? Especially when you are met with resistance that you must overcome. The answer should be an emphatic YES.

2. YOU ARE SIMPLY NOT SERIOUS ABOUT IT UNTIL YOU WRITE IT DOWN.

The mind wanders and it forgets. There are countless distractions everywhere to trip you up that prevents you from accomplishing what you set out on. With that in mind, this is a way to reinforce and remind yourself why you do it every day. Writing it down makes it real. It may sound dumb, but the shit works.

Bonus Tip: I use the index card method.

Write your goals on an 8 x 11 index card and carry it with you. Multiple, multiple times a day, take it out of your pocket and study it. Again, reinforce and remind yourself what you’re pursuing and why you do it everyday. That said, when the card starts to disintegrate and fall apart from always carrying it around, you know things are headed in the right direction. Then you write it on a new one.

3. TAKE TIME EACH AND EVERY DAY TO VISUALIZE.

Prepare a quiet environment where you are able to practice this exercise. One thing I like to do is lay in bed for a moment upon waking up. The house is dark and quiet, and my mind is clear. At this moment I’m able to focus. I visualize and feel how life is to be, as I’m free of these problems challenges that have plagued me. I lay there thinking of solutions, almost obsessing over them. When I close my eyes, I’m able to see how I look as I conquer the challenges that lay ahead. In order to conquer, you must…

4. DEVOTE TIME EACH AND EVERY DAY TOWARDS THE OPPORTUNITY.

Understand that the challenges won’t go away on their own. You must be somewhat pragmatic in your approach and find time consistently dedicated to solutions. There are 24 hours in the day. Devote thirty minutes to one hour each day to your biggest obstacles holding you back from living the life you want.

If it’s a better job, then that time is devoted to resume building, networking, and sending your rez out to Monster, Indeed, etc. If it’s eliminating credit card debt, then it’s devoted to calling lenders to negotiate, working extra to pay it off, learning how to budget, etc. If it’s getting a new girlfriend, then it’s devoted to your Tinder profile.

You get the point. Either way, you invest the time and energy it takes to improve that quality of your life, if it’s worth it to you. As you make progress, and you will, you’ll feel empowered to attack each new day building momentum.

5. PRAY EACH AND EVERYDAY.

What else could I say about this. I pray every day. You need all the help you can get. Is there any wonder why so many people turn to god when there at their most challenged in life. Call it grace. Call it meditating. Call it asking for divine intervention or just having faith, however, NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF PRAYER.

I used to think money would solve ALL my problems. Money may very well solve 95% of them, however, you trade them in for a different set of problems. All with different pressures and different stressors attached. You see, you will always have challenges in life. Personal, professional, physical, whatever. The trick is trading your old set in for new ones. New and improved ones.

Ones that invigorate and motivate you to conquer. Ones that give your life purpose and meaning. Ones that give you much more to gain from it then some bullshit car. Educate yourself on your situation, because nobody will do it for you. Stay well and out of trouble.

–The Educated Felon