How to Curse Elegantly: Style & Elegance Guide For Felons and Swear Words

Throughout my illustrious life, I’ve always been someone who’s adhered to a few notions regarding my interactions with humans. Most notably, I really do not have much trust for another person unless they curse.

Truth be told, I respect them a bit more when they do. I don’t exactly know when I adopted this interesting philosophy, I just know it seems to have always been there, lurking in the background, following me since I can remember.

To me, there’s just something inherently broken, that even pains me when one neglects using our language in its purest, most raw form. I mean that’s what separates us from the animals.

Don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to be a potty mouth or glorify using curse words for me to carry on a conversation with you. It’s just that I want more from the interaction.

Get over yourself and be real, and be flawed. Be a human. Let your guard down and stop worrying about judgment.

The thought of conversations and the work associated with trying to impress someone by having to say the correct things to not come off as offensive just seems disingenuous. Along with being boring and predictable.

People tend to overcomplicate things by beating around the bush, and not being more direct. They’re always searching for the right thing to say. Ironically, it still ends up being wrong.

It’s all very organic and authentic when you can throw the filter away, and be a little more forthright with your feelings through word choice. I mean, don’t you care to take full advantage of everything available in your vocabulary arsenal of the English language? Do you even give a shit?

Some would say it’s inappropriate and vulgar to use bad language and curse words. The importance of context when using bad language cannot be overstated. Different situations and audiences dictate the acceptability of swearing.

For instance, professional settings or religious gatherings are inappropriate for any profanity, while casual settings may allow for a more lenient approach. I mean surely, I’m an unintelligent, classless, felonious piece of shit for swearing, right? Wrong!!!

In newly published studies that were conducted, swearing is actually considered to be a sign of intelligence.

Vindication finally, the consistent findings show there is a direct correlation between profanity (swearing/curse words) and honesty.

Not only that, but the study also found that the cursing subjects were considered to be more trustworthy, sincere, and superior communicators through artistic expression.

The freedom to not hold back. It goes further, suggesting that cursors are emotionally stronger and have more tolerance to pain.

HOW TO USE SWEAR WORDS EFFECTIVELY

In order to be an effective cursor, you must follow two very simple rules. You swear for a purpose. Common sense dictates that social etiquette and appropriate behavior are crucial when determining when and where cursing is acceptable.

1. ALWAYS BE IN CONTROL WITH SWEAR WORDS

You should always be in control of yourself. You are responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and behavior. If you’re not, you’re at the mercy of circumstances.

You can’t control external things like traffic, weather, assholes, et cetera. You shouldn’t want to anyway, leave that for GOD. Interestingly enough, it’s the external things that people can’t control, that have them cursing and screaming.

Be in control of the one thing you can control in this world. You.

More importantly for this article, what comes out of your mouth. You do not have to scream or yell when cursing. Once you have, you’ve lost control. And if you lose control, you lose.

Keep your temperament in check, in order to use your colorful language (curse/swear words) to your advantage. For that to happen, you need to attract and engage someone’s attention – not frighten or turn them off with loud noise.

You swear for a purpose. There is etiquette to it all.

Have respect for your cuss words by exploring creative and alternative ways to express profanity, such as imaginative replacements, old-fashioned terms, or even foreign curses, so you can attain that respect. The moment you have to raise your voice and shout, you lose.

Remember:

• Don’t lose your shit.
• So you don’t lose control.
• So you don’t lose your audience.

2. KNOW THE TIME AND PLACE TO USE A CURSE WORD

Not to confuse you, but there are certain times and places where full use of your vocabulary is most not welcome, so learn the subtle art to shut the eff up.

Yeah, I know that contradicts the whole liberating I don’t give a shit outlaw image, however, there is something called discretion.

You want your curse words to have style, grace, and polish. It should flow and tie into your point. To curse just to curse has no merit.

You want it to be special and have meaning. So use choice words sparingly, as you don’t want it to lose bite or potency. You dilute and water down the impact and subsequent response you generate when every other word out of your fucking mouth is f***.

Moving on, there are certain times and places where it is more socially acceptable – almost encouraged, where one could practice swearing free of judgment, such as bars, clubs, casinos, concerts, sporting events, playing video games, stubbing your toe, et cetera.

Then there are places where one should proceed with caution before detonating f-bombs and disturbing the peace, such as school-related, church-related, job-related, et cetera.

Understanding the rules and etiquette surrounding the use of strong language is crucial. Using the f-bomb can be acceptable under certain circumstances, but it requires discretion and awareness of the context.

And then you never, ever want to practice in courtrooms, depositions, probation meetings, and most (if not all) legally related matters and functions.

In Conclusion

I didn’t just happen to start cursing one day and become this sick maniac. It was more of a gradual thing built over time.

Coupled with the fact that there was a turning point, early in my business career when I got fed up with protocol. Having to follow the right way on how you sell, talk, and relate to people.

To regurgitate and spew out the same nonsense made me nauseous. I was extremely uncomfortable doing that, as it was all very condescending. Mind you, I felt that was insulting and offensive to others, not my so-called inappropriate language.

Soon, I would be practicing my delivery of choice swear words, so rather than come off crude or gruff, it would have polish and style to it.

I wanted my interactions to be genuine. I wanted to be sincere, yet brutally honest, even if it meant the possibility of turning someone off or offending them.

I don’t apologize for using human language to reflect my intense feelings for something. Never will. I guess you could say I truly don’t give a shit Maybe you don’t either. Stay well and out of trouble.

–The Educated Felon